We all have a shell around us and it protects us. It is composed of psychological strategies called defense mechanisms. Unconscious mind makes us use defense mechanisms to deny or distort the reality, in order to protect us from negative emotions like anxiety, depression, etc. Example, denial is a state where we avoid thinking about some negative event to escape from feelings related to the event.
“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” – Sigmund Freud
When we do not accept the reality, it effects us in uglier way at a different time point. All the human beings make an effort to deal with the negative emotions in their own ways. Some people travel slowly, where as others travel fast. All the journeys have a common destination, gaining the INSIGHT.
When someone questions, we try to fight with them and protect our defense mechanisms. We might even blame the helper and do personal attacks with lots of criticism and negativity. But our actions might be different. We might approach the helper again and again to get our answers from his/her questions. We get better in the process. The reason for which we get better is that we are becoming close to reality. The reason for which we target the helper is to save our defense mechanisms. When helper is a close person, he/she will be attacked more and more severely.  That makes him loose his own stability. That is the reason why, helper cannot empower the victim. That is the reason why many close people fail in helping the person who is struggling.
Counseling is a process where two processes run simultaneously. One is empowerment and it helps us in handling the loss of defense mechanisms. Second is confrontation that actually attacks defense mechanisms.